8 Things You Tell Yourself That Hold You Back From Getting What You Really Want

Updated: Apr 6

1. I should stick with what I know

Sticking to the status quo for months and years, even though it no longer fits our needs or future selves, is because of fear. In this case, the fear of the unknown. Fear is a common response to change. When we are about to introduce something new into our lives (even something we really want), we often simultaneously reject it in order to protect ourselves from any perceived danger, like experiencing failure, shame and embarrassment.

I'd like to offer a different perspective on 'getting something wrong' or 'failure' - what if the bumps in the road of trying something new are all FOR you, and part of the journey? What if you have to experience those things in order to grow into the person you're meant to be?

If you do not create change, change will create you.

2. I might fail

The wonderful thing about failure is that it’s entirely up to us to decide how to look at it.

There is no failure in life, only feedback. You learn substantially more from perceived ‘failure’ than success. It shapes you, it makes you stronger. The more you fail, the easier it becomes and the quicker you get back up again.

What if I fall? Well, what if you fly?

3. I don’t have time

The truth is, we find the time for what we want to do most. Each day, you wake up and you can make that choice. How and where you invest your time can be motivated by your beliefs (positive and limiting beliefs). What's the real meaning behind the words "I don't have time?"

If you don't have time for the small things, you won't have time for the big things.

4. I tried before, it didn’t work

There are usually multiple ways to achieve a goal, but perhaps you haven't seen the other possibilities yet. This can often happen if we hold a belief that there is truly only one way to do something, or we are so laser focused on our target we don't see the opportunities and possibilities life is trying to show us, to help us on our way.

The last time it didn't work, you received information. How can you use that information now to try it again, but differently?

Think about taking a new action in terms of being an experiment. You try something, it either works as you want it to, or it doesn't. If it works out - great, keep doing it. If it doesn't work out - you've gained valuable feedback which is telling you to do something different.

If what you’re doing isn’t working, try something else!

5. I don’t know what I want

That’s OK, accept the uncertainty, and celebrate that this state of confusion puts you in a receptive state for something new!

Sometimes we can feel confused about knowing what we want because we haven't yet uncovered what is important to us, or what our purpose is. Sometimes it's because the options are overwhelming and you worry about making the wrong choice.

Here's some truth for you - what you want is going to be a moving target.

During the process of going after what you want, you will grow and evolve through your experiences. This means what was once important to you, can become less important to you a year down the line.

You are allowed to change your mind and your desires. All you need to do is put one step in front of the other and start walking. Along that path you may find wonderful opportunities that you wouldn't have found before unless you'd simply started moving.

If you do not know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere

6. I don’t know how

That’s a good place to start. It means you’re open to learning a new way.

Who do you know that does know how? What did they do?

Success leaves clues. People who succeed are not lucky; they’re doing something differently than everyone else does.

7. I feel overwhelmed

Maybe your goal is too big right now and it needs chunking down into smaller, more achievable steps. Start with the end in mind and start working backwards from your end goal. Each time you identify a smaller goal, see if that can be broken down into more mini-goals.

To identify what step you should take next, or task you should complete first, identify which task will bring the biggest relief and/or the biggest impact and start there.

Don’t focus on the staircase, just take the first step

8. I don’t deserve it

What makes you undeserving?

Where does this belief come from?

What evidence do you have that this belief is true?

What past regrets do you need to let go of in order to feel deserving of a wonderful future?

What do you CHOOSE to believe instead?

Remove any sense of selfishness you feel about going after what you want. Depriving yourself of something will not change the fact that someone else doesn’t have it.

There are no prerequisites for worthiness

A belief is a decision we make about ourselves and/or our model of the world that can severely limit the way we live. Our limiting beliefs affect our decisions and shape our responses to the external world and opportunities around us.

What would life be like for you if you let go of your limiting beliefs?

Book a Coaching Consultation to discuss how to start breaking down the walls around these beliefs and loosen their grip on you, so you can start living the life you really want.


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