One of the many things that can be a catalyst for significant growth and transformation is this idea that it's expected that you should conform to society and its spoken/unspoken (and often unrealistic) expectations. Many people struggle with this dialogue daily of “I should be doing this, I should be doing that”. The word ‘should’ does a very good job of making you feel stuck, trapped and suffocated. You don’t take action or move forward because you’re so worried about what other people will think or say about you. Feeling guilty or overwhelmed about all these things you “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing, keeps you stuck. The more pressure you put on yourself, the less likely you are to do it. Then you feel rubbish about yourself, adding to the feelings of shame, and then this brings about more “shoulds”. It becomes a vicious cycle. How often do you tell yourself you “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing something? I should be working harder.
I should be a Senior Vet by now.
I should lose weight.
I shouldn't allow myself a slob out day, I should be productive all the time. I shouldn’t eat after 8pm. I shouldn’t eat carbs. I should drink less wine. This creates a ton of pressure inside yourself to do or be something based on what you think you’re supposed to do or be. A wise woman once told me “stop shoulding on yourself!”, and she wasn’t wrong! My advice?
Replace "should" with “I want…” “I can…” “I will…” “I am…”
Here's an excerpt from the book 'The Power of Now' that says "wherever you are, be there totally".