Updated: Sep 15, 2020
“It’s often the case that we will pursue the values of the broader culture such as money, commodities, social status, or a certain image, thinking it will make us feel safe or loved. Or we negatively assess ourselves or others based on negative social norms that are not actually our values, but which we’ve embodied anyway.”
Often people have the mindset of “I’ll be happy when I have X” or “People will like me if I do/am/be X”. Even the most confident, self-assured people have moments where they do something to conform to social norms because they feel the pressure to do so. But it's tiring. You're using a lot of 'chasing' energy, when in fact the thing you are chasing is not necessarily the thing you need or the thing that will ultimately fulfil you.
One of the (many) reasons I became an NLP Practitioner and Coach is that I had become tired of pursuing things that I thought I "should" want, according to other people's expectations. Over a number of years I had found a way of life that fit for me and I knew I wanted to show others how to achieve the same level of emotional freedom and power.
In my coaching relationships (and everyday life), I encourage people to reconnect with their true self, to live life on their terms, to do and have the things THEY want. There’s so much freedom in living your life on your terms.
This is not about making huge changes in your external environment, although that can sometimes be part of it. It’s an inside job. It’s a mindset shift, a new perspective and seeing the world differently.