We are all control freaks (and veterinary practice ownership sort of requires it)

Those things don’t happen by being hands off, so control (at the beginning) is often a real strength.

The problem is what happens when that level of attentiveness never switches off, and you expend more and more energy trying to maintain oversight of everything.

I’m not talking about anything particularly dramatic; I mean things like:

• Being copied into everything, just in case.
• Double checking notes, rotas, and complaints.
• Anticipating problems before they even happen.
• Stepping in quickly so things don’t go wrong.
• Maintaining a large client following, a full clinical caseload, and managing the business.

Because…what happens if you don’t?

You see a drop in income.
Other vets don’t handle cases in the same way.
That might lead to complaints.
Complaints threaten reputation.
Reputation threatens livelihood.

So what might start off as quality control turns into constant vigilance.

Which, ugh, is exhausting, and I know you know it.

The question that commonly comes up with the people I work with is:
“But how do I let go, even just a little bit, because actually that makes me feel MORE stressed than just being there all the time.”

To your body, it feels completely unsafe to slow down. The body reads it as risk, and the mind tells all sorts of wonderful stories about how things will fall apart and you’ll have to work more to pick up the pieces.

So, the familiar habit stays – hyper-vigilance, always on.

People commonly think the answer is to “care less”, or lower their standards. But that’s not it.

The answer is to understand why you’re holding on so tightly in the first place.

• Is your need to control driven by fear, rather than necessity?
• Is your need to control driven by an intolerance to uncertainty?
• Is it tied to a belief that if you’re not holding everything together, something bad will happen?

Because control is usually about protection. Protecting the business you built, yes, but also what it represents.

For many practice owners, the practice isn’t just a source of income, it’s an identity! It’s about who they are as a vet.

For some, opening their own practice was their way of putting things right after a bad experience elsewhere. A line in the sand after a bad corporate experience. Their practice is the place where their values live day to day. And when you’ve poured yourself into something like that, protecting it at all costs makes complete sense.

And after years of carrying that, letting go will not feel like relief. It will feel like risk. Which means forcing yourself to let go is not the answer.

If stepping back feels risky in your body, no amount of willpower, delegation, or positive thinking will change that. The need to control will just show up somewhere else.

First, you have to create enough internal safety that you don’t need constant vigilance to feel ok.

And that is deep work.